Should couples live together before getting married? In a conservative country like India, this question can elicit highly polarized opinions. Religious views aside, in pure relationship speak - is living in actually healthy for couples? We get you multiple facets of this topic, right here:
Why People Live In
Unmarried couples have quite a few positive motivations for living together. For most people, the number one reason to live in with their partner is to spend more time with the person they're dating. For others, living in is a way to minimize cost of living and share expenses, testing out the relationship or simply cohabiting a house with the person they love without giving any importance to marriage.
1. The Ugly Truth Of Live-In Relationships
It has been seen by relationship counselors that compared to married couples, cohabiting couples argue more, have more trouble resolving conflicts, are more insecure about their partners' feelings, and have more problems related to their future goals.
2. The Mystery Fades
Once you move in together, whatever sense of mystery you had about the other person quickly begins to drizzle away. You (unfortunately) can see her putting on face packs and bleach on her face, looking like a ghoul while she can hear you crapping out loud after the first cup of coffee. And while that's exactly what will happen after marriage too, somehow the level of commitment in a live-in might not be enough to endure all the good, bad and the ugly of your partner.
3. The Sex Magic Disappears
When two people are dating, their chemistry gets deeper as their sex gets better. But when you live together, the sex doesn't get prioritized as it should be - because you know you will both be around tomorrow night, and the next night, and the next. A little tired after work? Want to catch up on that novel? Suddenly sex can wait. And wait ... and wait .... and waaaaaait...
4. Increased Dependency
People get very used to each other after moving in together. And while intimacy is a great thing, too much of it is actually harmful to the relationship and for the couple's mental well being. Increased dependency creates more room for fights as people start expecting a lot from their partners.
5. Mismatched Lifestyles Come Into Play
When you don't live together, all of those differences between the two of you are part of why you like the other person. But suddenly when you're dealing with her grumpy mornings, or his messy habits, those differences make for some really, really compelling and batshit crazy fights.
6. The Inertia Effect
Once a couple is living together, it's more difficult for them to break up because of the greater investment. This is known as The Inertia Effect. This is problematic when it forces people who are not healthy partners, to become more committed to each other and enter into a negative spiral.
7. The Move Towards Marriage Quickens
There is a strong pressure from at least one partner to culminate the live in by entering the wedlock. Living in is recognized as a strong predictor of marriage, in part because people get so used to each other. However, if even one partner isn't ready, it takes a very heavy toll on the relationship.
So, what should it be? Should you move in with your partner, or not? As in most cases, the answer depends on you and your partner, but it's important to know what you are getting into before it takes a toll on your bond!